My life has changed so much health wise, even from just a couple of years ago…and it all seems mainly caused by a defective thyroid and it’s subsequent removal.
One minute I was cruising along at high speed…so full of energy and ideas.
Next minute, my body hit a brick wall and seemingly overnight turned into a weight gaining, lethargic blob.
When investigations finally found I had a thyroid which had decided to stop working properly…things were made extra exciting by the discovery that I had thyroid cancer as well.
Surgery quickly took care of the tumors, and I have been lucky enough not need any further treatment.
For a while I did really well…lost the weight and got back to feeling a bit more normal…until about a month ago.
Now even with my daily dose of meds, I am struggling to function.
So finally I got myself organsied and over the last few days, I have visited my GP and my GI specialist, and had a heap blood taken…all in the hope that something will show up and explain what is going on.
It got me thinking about what I miss about how I used to be…when I was healthy with everything working as it should…
Waking Up Refreshed
I need at least 9 hours or so of sleep to be able to function…anything less and I feel horribly jet lagged.
But even with all that sleep, I could still sleep some more…getting out of bed each morning is a struggle.
I would love to wake up and feel like I have had a good rest….that I have energy to face the day.
Not Feeling Sick
I have functional Nausea…which means unexplained and often constant nausea.
I live on strong ginger tablets and Ibergast but it never really goes away…just turns up the volume every now and then.
I would love to open my eyes in the morning and know I won’t have any nausea…but it hasn’t happened for over six years now!
Clarity of Thought
I used to love studying and reading…now I find it hard to absorb anything that is front of my eyes.
It is like my brain is working at half pace…that brain fog is real, people!
And don’t even talk about my memory…I struggle to remember anything nowadays.
If it isn’t written down, it won’t happen.
I miss my razor sharp mind with a memory like a steel vault.
Being Friends with Food
I have a love/hate relationship with food…I would be quite happy if I never had to eat ever again.
Because for some reason, my body won’t let me enjoy what I eat…yet I get hungry.
I have a major lactose intolerance…just a hint of dairy/lactose and I am in trouble.
But even when I am being careful, sometimes my system just says, nope…it ain’t going to happen…and I spend the next few hours feeling ill.
I watch with envy others who can eat whatever they like when they like…I miss that…
Just Be Normal
The bottom line is I just want to be normal….to feel normal…to feel like my body is working the way it should be.
I want to feel like I can get through the day without the nausea or tiredness.
I have so much to live for, and don’t want to waste a minute!
Now after writing all the above, I know I shouldn’t complain…I don’t have a life threatening condition, and I have a very comfortable life with a fantastic husband and supportive family.
I want for nothing….except good health.
And that is something all the money in the world can’t buy.
Do you suffer from an invisible chronic illness? How do you cope?
Go ahead and complain Sarah, sometimes you just need a good vent, we can’t be strong and soldier on all of the time, sometimes we need to just stop and acknowledge ‘hey this kinda sucks’. I’ve lived with chronic daily pain for the past 7 years after major back surgery which involved rib removal (not fun), most days I’m good at just pushing it aside & getting on with my day and then other days I just want to lay in bed and cry ‘why me?’ I also have that constant tiredness you’re explaining and I’m in the process of investigating that at the moment, I just hope I get some answers and I hope you do too! Sending big hugs your way x
Thanks Sarah! I can’t imagine what it would be like having constant chronic pain…thankfully, pain is not a real issue for me, it’s the tiredness and nausea. Hope you can get some relief asap and you can get back to living life to the full! xx