Sometimes I feel in our mixed up, crazy modern times, that we are expected to like everyone we come across…that we all must become best friends.
But the fact is we are all different, and I am not talking about race, religion, politics or sexuality…I am saying that we are all individuals with different personalities, likes, experiences and passions.
We are all unique…and that means that you actually don’t have to like everyone you meet!
However, just because you don’t like someone, doesn’t instantly make you racist, homophobic etc etc…it doesn’t mean you hate them….it maybe that you just don’t connect with that person.
And that is not a crime.
I don’t hate many people, if any at all…hate makes you bitter, and sours your mind, soul and judgement.
I have been on the receiving end of someone’s tirade recently…sad thing is I don’t hate them, never had…I just didn’t connect with them, and I didn’t like the way they made me feel…so I stepped back…that’s all I did.
It doesn’t make them any less of a person…it doesn’t make me any less of a person…it’s just we aren’t “made’ to be friends.
I now just feel really sorry for them being eaten up by so much vitriol.
I love meeting new, interesting people…some connections are very short, maybe just one conversation….others turn into life long friendships.
Sometimes opposites attract, sometimes a common interest is the connection.
The trick is knowing when it’s just not right, and moving on….not hating or being unkind, just going separate ways.
And I emphasis, NEVER hating or being unkind…there is no place in the world for that.
But why waste time trying to connect with someone if it isn’t right…life is too short, and there are so many other people out in the world that you can connect with.
And I can assure you from experience that connecting with the right people is so much more fun, and no effort!
There are some people in my past who I have tried so hard to understand…to connect…but no matter what I tried, there was Just awkwardness..having to be so careful about what to say…uncomfortable…
I have now learned that it really doesn’t matter…if there is no mutual connection, it’s time for BOTH parties to move on.
We live in a modern world, and often new friendships are formed online.
This can be so rewarding, especially as it allows you to “meet” people from all over the world, but it also can be fraught with danger.
For example, if and when you met that person in real life, you may realise that you actually have no connection at all.
Things that aren’t revealed online are made more clear, and this may not be what you expected.
But that’s ok…it’s natural…just move on…
And it is important to remember that people change over time…people who were friends years ago, may now not have any common ground for friendship yet others may last the test of time.
We learned this lesson when my husband was so sick and dying…we lost some friends…we realised that they couldn’t handle the situation, and they walked away from it and us.
I don’t hate them…I miss them, but understand it was a very difficult situation for them to cope with…it changed them, and us.
But on the positive side, during the whole pre-transplant/post-transplant process, we made new friends…and the wheel keeps turning.
We are now lucky to have many groups of friends…all from different parts of our life…there are our music friends, work friends, those we have meet through the liver transplant journey, those who we have met through blogging, online friends…the list goes on.
So don’t believe the hype that we all must be friends…reality is it just won’t work…our nature makes us that way.
We should ALWAYS be kind and considerate to those around us, but we don’t have to be bosom friends with everyone.
Humans need companionship, and it’s part of our makeup to gravitate to those who we can connect with.
Don’t waste time and energy with those who you will never feel comfortable with…but don’t get angry or mad.
Move on with grace and put your energy into meeting new people and finding your own tribe.
You may be surprised with just who you connect with…and your life will be so much richer!